I DARE CALL YOU MOTHER

Once on a cold night, after our usual CAPRO meetings, Love, Toyin and I (young undergraduates at the University of Ilorin), sought for means of transportation back to campus, a distance of about 10km from the meeting venue. Deep in thought, a couple offered us a ride. Alas, what was one night gesture became a usual practice that lasted for as long as we attended the meetings. There I first noticed practical Christianity; actions, not words! These casual meetings became a lifelong relationship. I just wondered how fate blew us (Fakinlede’s and Olugbemi’s) like winds in the same direction giving the required opportunity to feed the relationship.

‘Aunty’, as I always called you, you were always there, firm, stern, warm and loving. You didn’t miss words when you chastised me for a wrong action but would always remember to draw me close. You encouraged me to get married to Toyin when it seemed so bleak. After the union, you followed us up passionately. Your doors were always opened to us even when we overstayed our welcome.

I can’t forget that day you took me to the hospital for the delivery of my first child. I doubt if you had enough sleep that night. Your care and comfort after my toe surgery was also unequalled.

My prophetess. Once you said it, and it came to pass, you would always say ‘don’t you see that things don’t add up to be adjudged wrong’? My burdens were never too heavy for you, because through it all you were just there. You went beyond comforting me to giving all the help you could in my difficult times.

I remember when you heard I was pregnant again not long after my first child, in your fury you nicknamed us PGT. I was sad and would have wanted to run but you were soon back to nurse me again. I also remember when I threw you down in the bathroom as you bathed me after my delivery and I pleaded that you should keep the incident to yourself. Thank you for always trying to be ahead of me in love; of course, you thought me what love is.

As I cried about my ordeal at work, you were looking for a solution, constantly offering words of encouragement. I remember screaming, “I passed, I passed!” as I got the result of my post graduate qualifying exams, and how you wholesomely rejoiced with me. In your usual manner, you set out to suggest possible project. You were also of help in writing the proposal. I cannot thank you enough on this side of the divide because I know we will meet again.

Yes, you were hard, principled and unshaking in your belief but I always saw love in your eyes even when your actions were misunderstood. Your intolerance for evil was stern and could sometimes be mistaken for excesses. You stood alone many times even when your beliefs were unpopular.

You tried to prepare me for your exit but I just couldn’t come to that reality. I remember your words; “I think I have done fairly well for the lord, and if He says it time, it is okay”. And a week to your exit, you calmed me down with so much joy that you were doing fine.

I must say thank you for sharing your pains and tears with me. Thank you for allowing me into your heart, and to perhaps share in your world.

In your pursuit for higher education, you just saw problems not just to be published but solved. You gave your all for the sake humanity. You died fighting, a soldier indeed that never retreated even in the face of a fierce battle.

My friend, mentor, mother and confidant, my DORCAS sleep well.